“Grow yourself again and energy is a huge part of it.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
What’s a better way to launch the Shower Epiphanies’ very first episode than radiating positive energy. Sometimes we compromise ourselves to meet what is expected of us. But often, this spells unhappiness and emptiness as we gradually lose ourselves along the way. Today’s podcast is for everyone who’s been living their lives for anybody else but themselves. Grow yourself back again. You deserve all the love and acceptance you’ve been longing for.
Listen to the podcast here:
03:03 How to be Accomplished
08:08 Dealing with the Dilemma of Expectation
11:00 The Need to be Validated
16:53 Can Narcissism Be Overcome?
21:35 Signs of a Narcissist
25:24 Reclaiming Your Entity
32:21 Make Your Emotions Your Strength
34:40 The Power of Kindness
“We are all scared of fear; we always have this fear of failure.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“When you don’t love yourself for who you are and you don’t have any self-worth, you’re the prime candidate for narcissists. ” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“We can’t change our past, but we can definitely move forward. And to move forward, you need to heal. You have to heal the bitterness, the hurt.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“Grow yourself again and energy is a huge part of it.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“You won’t really know till you feel it inside yourself. And I think meditation brings you there.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“I think that what people need to do is … to identify what’s going on within yourself.” –Art Costello
“Emotions are strength. It’s when you block your emotions… that you’re not very strong to deal with it.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“It’s my belief that epiphanies are the precursor to expectations, that in our brain, there’s that little place where we converted an epiphany into an expectation and then into an action and make it possible.” –Art Costello
“Don’t be so quick to judge when you see something, I think that’s really important, because we don’t know … what they’re going through inside.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“Kindness can go really far to give somebody strength to keep moving in their life.” –Dr. Bindu Babu
“We can't change our past, but we can definitely move forward.” @myexpectation sits with @DrBinduBabu for the very first episode of Shower Epiphanies. Be somebody’s hero. Show a little kindness today! #narcissist #kindness #judgemenot #emotions… Click To Tweet
ART: Welcome to the Shower Epiphany’s podcast. Today I am absolutely thrilled and honored to have as my guest, Dr. Bindu Babu. She’s been a Harvard Speaker where we’ve spoken together she is integrated physician world renowned keynote speaker, quantum based transformational coach and a professor of holistic entrepreneurship in the New York City area. She’s a reiki master, a past life regression therapist, has a doctorate and PHD and an MD in integrative medicine. Specialize in here, healing and recovery of narcissistic personality toxic relationships. She spoke and co-chaired the 30th world summit out of psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy, keynote speaker at the seventh international addictive disorder, addiction medicine and pharmaceutical and the annual, some of the pain management on opioid droughts. She’s been, as I said, a keynote speaker at Harvard. She’s also been a keynote speaker at the 30th world somewhat of psychiatry, psychology and psychotherapy. She’s spoken at numerous events around New York City and the world and I am honored to have her on our show. This is going to be fun she’s got a lot of great information. Welcome to the show, Bindu.
BINDU BABU: Oh, thank you Art. I’m so happy to be and honored to be on your show. I’m, this is going to be great.
ART: It will be great, that we can guarantee. Can you kind of tell us how, how Dr. Bindu has gotten to where she’s at right now?
BINDU BABU: My, that’s a, that’s a good question.
ART: Well, you’re so accomplished that it’s, it’s, I mean, it’s really, it’s shows the dedication that, and work that you’ve put in to, uh, your own personal growth.
BINDU BABU: You know, when you say that, I think about the fact of why I pushed myself so hard and I think my life experience, I think there’s two types of wisdom, right? Wisdom of education, which gives you validation and then there’s life experience and that wisdom you just cannot learn unless you go through it. And I wanted both and I wanted both because I felt my life experience. Taught me so much more than actual education, but I wanted my education to fine tune what I’ve learned to understand that better. And this way I use [inaudible] and collaborate to help others, you know. Um, and I think that was my driving force. It was, it was me wanting to achieve more and despite every obstacle that came my way, you know, I wanted to conquer it and be some sort of a, um, standing human being in front of somebody to say, if I can do it, anyone can do it.
ART: Did that come to you as a expectation that, uh, as a child, was there anybody that really influenced you to push yourself that hard or, or was that self-motivation?
BINDU BABU: Well, initially it was definitely expectations. You know, when I was a child, you know, it’s, especially with my cultural background, you must be successful. I mean, it’s in our community, if you’re not successful, you’re not looked, you’re not looked good on, you know, you, you, you looked quite beneath and it’s not, you know, as simple thinking of, well, you know, when you grew up, you know, go into your passion or you know, you like, there was no such thing as you can thrive in what you feel you’re good at. It was more of if you want success in your life, you either have to be a doctor or lawyer or some sort of engineer. And that is the validation you get from your community. So initially it was kind of like, well, that’s all I knew, so I must be a doctor or I must be a lawyer and I chose medicine, you know? So yeah, you’re right. It was an expectation that’s why I went into it, but the rest was on me
ART: As a little girl then, what would have been your choice of what you would be doing?
BINDU BABU: Music. Music, I love to sing. I was actually a pretty good singer. I still sing I was, I was the only a ninth grader who was accepted for, you know, choir at that time It was quite, it was choir, there was chorus and then there was choir and only the seniors got into choir. And I was one of the only freshman that I got into choir. Then I went to all state I went to [inaudible], I was you know, I got a lot of, I was a soprano lead and I loved going to Lincoln Center and I wanted to go to five towns, which was the music school and that was completely bashed down for this fight. My success in it, you know, despite, and my music teacher was, she was, she was phenomenal. She would always support me and um, I would, you know, during my lunch break I would be on the piano.
ART: But because of your, your cultural expectations to be considered a, a doctor, a lawyer, something like that kept you from actually pursuing your, your, what you felt was what you really wanted to do in your heart.
BINDU BABU: Yeah, because there was always a fear. It was installed in me like, you won’t be successful in this, you’re not gonna make money through music or you’re not gonna do anything with your life with music. So it was pretty much pushed out of my, a whole thought process. Like I, even if I wanted to, was very discouraged and it was always a battle. And I remember the line that I received was there’s only one Madonna in the world, only one. And that’s not you so that at the age of like 16, 15, you know, you’re, you get scared. So I didn’t pursue it I felt like it was childish or I wasn’t going to be anything with it. You know, even though I was encouraged by everyone else that you definitely should. You would, you know, cause I was in drama and I loved the arts, you know, I still do.
ART: And, and that must have caused a confliction in you because if you know, if you, if you re I know, I guess I come from a different end of it because I was never put in any position to have expectations. I just kind of existed and floated and had to figure it out all myself. So to me to have something that you’d so dearly love and have to pursue something else would have been a confliction for me. How did you deal with that?
BINDU BABU: You know what, as a child we don’t know better either. You know, it would, it would hurt because I was like, I loved what I wanted to do, but because it wasn’t looked at as anything as an importance or value, it kind of looked like, well that could be your side thing or that could be, you know, and I, I believed it. I didn’t think I could do good in it. You know, there was no encouragement there. And I was also scared of not listening to my parents are not listening to my family or I would be a failure and we’re all scared of fee. We always have this fear of failure, you know? And, you know if we don’t have like Steve Jobs in our life at that time to sit there and say, hey, jump and do what you need to do because you can always be fantastic and whatever you put your mind and your passion, jump over the fear.“We are all scared of fear; we always have this fear of failure.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
BINDU BABU: But there was no such concept in my mind. It was the only way you can do is you must be a doctor. You must be a lawyer. And you know I, I don’t, today I don’t look bad about it. I mean at that time was probably, I was very resentful. I wanted to do music, know I loved it, you know. Um, but I felt like, no, this is the right thing to do. I need to make my family proud I need to make my parents proud. I need to be, you know, I don’t want to be looked down upon by my community. And this is a concept that unfortunately people in my community or a lot of cultures, they, that’s all they know. You know, that’s all they know.
ART: Yeah. And you know, with me and my philosophy on expectations, looking at em through two lenses, either faith or fear, fear is used to control people. And in this case, you know, positives have come out of it you become a successful doctor. And I guess what I was trying to dig at was, is, you know, was there any negatives in it? But you’ve done a great job, I think probably a lot of work on yourself to, to reconcile all of that. But a lot of my listeners live in this space of fear.
BINDU BABU: –Right.
ART: And can you kind of go through some of your life where I know some of some of your history and background and I don’t want to push you on it, but I, you know, you own your work in the, uh, area of, of narcissism. Fear is really, really strong in, in narcissism, in the victim of narcissist.
BINDU BABU: Absolutely.
ART: And the narcissist uses that, that power of fear to control,
BINDU BABU: –Right.
ART: Which really many, it’s not just narcissists, it’s, it’s many people, governments uses, church uses fear. Salespeople use it and fear of loss. If you don’t buy this car today, tomorrow the price jumps up $3,000 and you’re not going to get it .
BINDU BABU: –Right.
ART: You know? Can you tell us some about the work that you do in the narcissistic?
BINDU BABU: You know I think you, you kind of linked something in I, I want to put a little together was when I spoke about my childhood and the fear, you know, it really comes down to what I’ve learned as a child, which developed in me was I can’t be accepted for who I am.
BINDU BABU: It was always a fear of I won’t be accepted or I won’t be loved for who I am. I have to become something that is acceptable by the community or by my parents or by my family. So I would do things just because of that fear. So I needed to be validated and that’s why I went into medicine at that time. I love helping people, medicines in my blood anyway, but I wouldn’t have done that, you know, because I knew I could not have been loved or accepted and that fear drove me to do it. So it’s kind of always conditioning your life for somebody else, right? And I think I brought that with me with everything, my friends, family and my husband. You know, I, I looked for, I, I picked up a chosen man who didn’t except me for who I am. You know, I had to condition myself to feel loved like the only way I could be loved was through someone where I had to change myself in my being and my personality or my wishes and likes and everything for someone else. So that’s where that codependency comes with the narcissist, and that’s where I was driving this too. When you don’t love yourself of who you are and you don’t have any self-worth, you’re the prime candidate for a narcissist. That they, that you’re a narcissist, you’re like the blood for the vampire, you know? So here I walk in and then this vampire is sitting there like, oh, look at this person. I can mold her in any way I feel because she loves me so much, so and I’m like, no,I need to be loved. So let me change myself and I’m feeding his ego and this person is loving it because hey, you know, I’ve got this doctor and she’s, you know, all in some sort of an, I might not be any place in my life, but I got her to jump, skip and do whatever I want and it feeds my ego, it’s a huge ego boost. So a narcissist, you know, so when you have that kind of a relationship and, and, and I think everybody walks into marriage with that thought process of this is my forever. We were all built in the society where when we first get married, I mean we think this is my ultimate destination and it can’t go beyond that. I mean, at least in my culture, it was very like there’s no such a thing as a divorce. So you have to make it break it or you know, you’ve got to just make it work. And I, that was a huge impact so here is me, I don’t love myself. Two, I feel only loved when I changed myself to suit their need. Three, I have this whole society that’s going to look at me like I’m a failure if I get divorced. Four, I don’t want anyone to know that I have this crazy person in my life, right? So I keep it to myself, including my family from my family. Five, I feel a sense of failure myself that Oh my God, what’s going on into my marriage? This man is controlling me and I can’t. I’m losing, and you, you come to a point where it, you lose your whole inner being in your soul. Like you get ripped out by a narcissist, you know? And a lot of women or men stay in it. You know, they stay in it.
“When you don't love yourself for who you are and you don't have any self-worth, you're the prime candidate for narcissists. ” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
ART: Hmm. I’ve had limited contact with narcissists of people, but I’ve,
BINDU BABU: –You’re blessed.
ART: Well, I mean that, I know I, I have three friends, could have been involved in narcissistic relationships. All three of those people we’re married to engineers.
BINDU BABU: Okay.
ART: Have you noticed that any particular gravitation for, for people? I, I mean it was just an observation that I’ve made and it just really, it kind of astounded me cause I guess I get caught up in some of the details that just stop. So have you ever noticed that, that that profession seems to have a great deal of narcissism in it? Or is that they’re just, you brought a generalization?
BINDU BABU: I, uh, you know, I, I, I wouldn’t, I really wouldn’t say it’s just an engineer. I think it’s, it’s pretty much anyone. I mean, I’ve seen people who have like the, I, I got narcissist who don’t have any jobs. I have narcissists who have, we’re like CEOs. I have narcissists who are in medicine. I think maybe you’ve encountered a lot more of the engineers, but I don’t think it’s really about profession, you know.
ART: Yeah. I mean that it was about professional. I just meant that, that there was a gravitation because engineers are so, they’re fix it. People, they want to make things work they’re very defined in their views of things. And I was wondering if that added to that but you know.
BINDU BABU: It does I mean like if you look at it like they are anything that makes them feel empowered, I don’t even know how to say like they can get an ego from. So any field they want to do to sit there and feed their ego, so it’s their attention from, so it doesn’t really make it the professionals, they need that type of attention. So that’s the problem, you know?
BINDU BABU: Um, so any profession that gives them people admiring them, they would love it.
ART: Could, can Narcissism be overcome?
BINDU BABU: No.
ART: No, if you’re narcissist, you’re always a narcissist.
BINDU BABU: Yeah. If you’re a narcissist, it’s you, it’s unfortunate because there is no treatment for narcissism.
ART: So pretty much what you have, the work you have to do is with the, the victim or recipient of narcissism and how they either give out of the relationship or they cope with it. What’s, what’s, what’s that look like?
BINDU BABU: So, the thing with narciss, okay, so well the thing with narcissism is a person who is a narcissist, it comes from their childhood. You know, like some sort of situation with their mother they always need to please and love somebody else to feel validated. And it, it becomes, that’s why it becomes like a persona, it’s a personality disorder. And then when you encounter somebody like that, they know exactly how to be press your buttons, you know, especially if you’re codependent because you’re constantly sitting there trying to get love from them so they know how to control you and it’s, it’s a, it’s a cycle you know, unfortunately it’s, there’s this whole cycle of initial love bombing, you know, that’s the term. And you know, usually narcissists when they find their you know pray, they, they, they cashed the person and they give them the world. Like, it’s kind of like Disney, you know, the love, the chocolates to the always acting supportive and being there for them. And, and it’s, it’s almost like the person gets so swoon into that cloud of perfection and this is what they’ve always been looking for. And, and the narcissist will mold themself to make you feel like you can’t even live without them like this is the best love you ever had in your life and you know, you get involved in it and so very fast and quick process. It’s not like normal, let’s stay it’s like every like within three to four months it’s like boom, you, it’s so strong, you know? And then all of a sudden once they know that they have you and they don’t need to work to keep you because they know you’re in their net, they just take it away, you know, and everything is your fault, you know? and they enjoy that.
ART: How does one identify, I mean, because, and then initially when people meet, you know, particularly young people, I think, I dunno, maybe that’s a generalization too, but when, when we first started dating and stuff, you know, we want to shower the person we love with kindness kind words, kind gifts, uh, things that would please them you know. And that’s one of the difficulties in any relationship is, is how do you identify what that heightened excitement as of meeting versus, you know, the real person. We have to all sort through that. How does one do that? When, when, or how does one figure out whether they’re being netted by a narcissist or it’s truly caring, loving ways to be around someone? I mean, cause I’m a giving person and I love giving and I love sharing and I love being warm and cuddly and, and Kissy and Huggy, except it’s just who I am as part of me. And, uh, you know, the furthest thing from my mind is ever controlling anybody. I, I actually want people to grow I want, you know, people that I’m I love and care about to grow and flourish like a flower bloom. And, and how, how does, how does a woman or a man, and honestly I’ve never heard of a of a woman narcissist. I’m sure they’re out there, but
BINDU BABU: –Oh no, there’s plenty.
ART: Oh really?
BINDU BABU: –There’s plenty.
ART: So how does one, how does one figure out whether someone’s being narcissistic or they’re just being genuinely giving.
BINDU BABU: Well, see it’s, it’s when someone like I’m a very loving in person I love. And that’s, I think that’s where, you know, when in my own situation I was so bonded to that narcissist because I was, I love, you know, chocolates and being cute and I’m very sensitive and I love being warm and huggy and all those things. So when I received that, it was just amazing. And then at that time I didn’t love myself, so I felt, oh my gosh, this person really loves me, you know? So I, I kind a just took every, every second of that, you know, which was beautiful at that time. But what happens is a narcissist, takes that, I think to a different level. It’s just, you know, that’s why they call it love bombing. You know, they not only just give chocolates and you know, it’s all of a sudden it’s, they want to be with you every minute of your life. You know, they, they, it’s like not a healthy way of showing love. Um, they call you like every half hour. They want to know where you’re at, where you are, what you’re doing, –
ART: –Oh okay.
BINDU BABU: -you know, are you here? Oh, let me come and give you a cup of coffee. And you kind of misunderstand that there’s a control factor there. They’re not giving you the cup of coffee because they want them, you know, show you love and care and consideration. There’s also this whole element of I need to see exactly where you are and I need to know where you are every moment because of my insecurity, cause now I need that control, you know? So what happens is when someone doesn’t, you know, is falls into this trap, they look at it as, oh, he really loves me. He really can’t look, he’s taking the effort and getting me that cup of coffee or, so it’s, it’s kind a like, you know, you see the un health in it, but you cannot confuse that as love. You know, –
ART: –Hmm Mm.
BINDU BABU: -a lot of people look at jealousy as love or controls love and that’s not, that’s not love that’s more of insecurity and they’re feeding themselves, you know, to feel more secure. So it’s not like the normal, you know, you call them once a day or you give a text, how you doing? What do you, this is more of where are you? What are doing? Oh really? Okay, can I see you now? Can I see you later? Why don’t you come over and let me, let me make you dinner. You know, and you just go into this whirlwind or it’s just this world of you and that person where you even start neglecting your work. You start neglecting your family and it goes into a further step later where you don’t even see your friends or your e you lose connection to everything.
ART: So almost like a cult, you know, like, like how a cult controls people.
BINDU BABU: –Yes.
ART: You know where they, they, uh, separate you from your loved ones. They, you know, they indoctrinate you and, and they control you that way.
BINDU BABU: Yeah. I had stopped talking to all my friends. I had completely stopped talking to all my friends. I was scared if I talked to them, I would upset my, my husband at the time, you know, I was scared to talk to my family because I thought they would know what’s going on and so many issues, you know, I gave up my family, I give up my friends, I gave up my, you know, my career at that time I started fading I was, I wasn’t paying attention, you know, it was very difficult because anything I did would upset him. You know, if I talk to a friend, oh, you must be having an affair with him. Oh, you’re giving the wrong type of attention, or what are you wearing? You can’t wear that. Or everything you did was something was wrong because they were, they felt insecure and you would constantly keep changing yourself because you’re scared to upset that person they call that walking on eggshells, yeah. So you really lose your whole element, you lose your life, you lose your entity, but you can get that all back.
ART: That was my question. That was my next thing. How do you go about getting that back?
BINDU BABU: Well one is you have to first is recognizing it, you know, –
ART: –Oh is that gonna –
BINDU BABU: – [inaudible]. Yeah. It took me a while because I felt like I, you get so brainwashed into it that you believe these things. You have to remember that you get very brainwashed because you sit there, will this person look at how he’s treating me? He loves me, he’ll take care of me, he’s, he’s, you know, he’s so sweet, he made me dinner and kept it out. You know, all these little, little things just to keep you and they’re like, so he can’t possibly be doing all this. If he didn’t love me, he must be a lot smarter than I am, so I need to curve what I’m wearing, you know, I need to not, you know, I mean, I give you an example. Like I, you know, when I see my friends, I, I, I give them hugs, you know, all my friends, my ex had an issue with that. You know, he would tell me, no, you can’t hug men that’s wrong. And I actually I, I was like, what are you talking about? And then I was, and I was such a person and I, I’m back to that person. But I was such a person where I would hug everybody, love everybody. I was very like flamboyant I always talk to everyone, everyone’s very popular and I can chat with the person right next to me, like for hours, you know, and I didn’t understand this because my mind wasn’t there thinking of negative thoughts, you know? And he’s like, no, when you hug someone, you’re giving them your attention. You’re giving them the wrong sign so you can’t hug anybody anymore, and I believed it. I was that brainwashed so next thing you know, when my, when I’d meet my friends, I wouldn’t hug them, I would actually take a step back, which costs more conflict. So it was, it was terrible, you lose your whole identity. But I was so like, no, he’s right, he’s right. What he’s saying and it was very convincing, very brainwashed. There’s a whole term called gas lighting. Um, anything you did was just wrong –
ART: –Hmm Mm.
BINDU BABU: -and you believed it. Any fear of losing that person. Right? So it was tough.
ART: You know, you’re, you’re so accomplished and educated in that, you know, like in your reiki, you’re a master reiki practitioner.
BINDU BABU: –Yeah.
ART: You’re integrated medicine. How has that all worked in with your work, with nart, with narcissists?“We can't change our past, but we can definitely move forward. And to move forward, you need to heal. You have to heal the bitterness, the hurt.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
BINDU BABU: Well, first thing is when you’re in a narcissistic relationship is accepting and, and knowing that you need to get out and find yourself again. And after that is what do you do? You know, this is where there’s not much out there. You know, psychotherapy is great, you know, but, and medication doesn’t solve the problems, you know, they can help, but you have to do a lot of healing work inside. And that’s where I came in because I needed to find myself again. And that’s how I started, you know, going into Reiki and I started doing meditation and one of the biggest things that changed my life was finding this book by Dr. Brian Weiss, who is also a physician MD. Many lives, many masters. He was a psychiatrist and he was chairman of one of the hospitals in Miami, in Miami somewhere. And he was doing hypnotherapy on his patients. And that’s how he tapped into their past lives. So, and I mean, and he’s done phenomenal work. And that’s why I went after him and I became a past life regression therapist I got trained by him. And I use all these modalities to help people who’ve gone through these relationships to find themselves again, heal their past. We can’t change our past, but we can definitely move forward. And to move forward, you need to heal. You have to heal the bitterness, the hurt. Why did I allow this to happen to myself? Or what was the cause of this? And once you sit down, and that’s what I do, I sit with you, we dig into that and we, reprogram our mindsets and have some understanding why we did this. How come it’s happening? What are we going to do now? And, and grow yourself again. You know, and energy’s a huge part of it and that’s why I do the Reiki and I kind of balance out your energy and you feel connected to your inner core and your soul and you do your meditation and and you feel yourself grow and you feel yourself come out of this, this cloud or bubble or occasion that you’re in. Finding yourself, developing yourself and living your life to what is meant to be and that’s what I do now, you know I specialize in that.“Grow yourself again and energy is a huge part of it.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
ART: Yeah. And you’re good at it. I mean, cause I know you’re right. I’ve experiences at Harvard and I would just, Oh, was it? Uh, you know, I don’t think I’ve ever felt such a a peace at my core level that I did after work.
BINDU BABU: –Yeah
ART: And that was in a group setting too.
BINDU BABU: Yeah. I love my group setting though, because the group setting is great cause you got more energy in the room and people are not only is, will just not just me, everyone kind of looks around like, Whoa, you know, so it’s, it’s nice because it doesn’t matter. You know, Art, you and I can talk so many things and people can I understand, but you won’t really know till you feel it inside yourself.
ART: That’s true.
BINDU BABU: Yeah.
ART: –That’s true.
BINDU BABU: And I think meditation brings it at.“You won't really know till you feel it inside yourself. And I think meditation brings you there.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
ART: Yeah. Yeah. I’m with you and I have talked about that personally about me starting to meditate more and –
BINDU BABU: –Yes.
ART: You know, part of expectation therapy is, I mean the really core issue of it is about identifying about getting inside yourself. I, I like to take people, you know, for me when I was nine years old and went up on top of the hill and laid on my back and had this experience where I, I just let, because of the stress and the pain that I was experiencing at the time, just let myself go and heard a voice that spoken side of me and that, you know, is what I try to get people to do that I work with to identify, clarify, and then solidify with a written plan about how we’re going to move forward. That that’s what expectation therapy is about and, and I hear what in how you operate and that was what partly what I was so interested in is that I do see that you do spend a lot of time actually identifying and making it work. Through, through the, through the system that you use or the or the protocol that you use and that I think that’s what people need to do is to, the important thing is getting in touch with yourself.
BINDU BABU: –Yeah.
ART: And self-acceptance and self-having the emotional intelligence to win, to identify what’s going on within yourself. We just –“I think that what people need to do is ... to identify what's going on within yourself.” –Art Costello Click To Tweet
BINDU BABU: –Right.
ART: -use different terms in different words and everything, but really what it is is it’s about getting in touch with yourself, your core and identifying it and moving forward with it and in a positive way.
BINDU BABU: Right , absolutely you know understanding emotions are not weakness you know a lot of people think emotions, emotions are strengths.
ART: Oh, they are.
BINDU BABU: Yeah, absolutely. It’s when you block your emotions, it’s when you have to understand that you’re not very strong to deal with it, you know.“Emotions are strength. It's when you block your emotions… that you're not very strong to deal with it.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
ART: Exactly, exactly.
BINDU BABU: Yeah. I think dealing with your emotions, crying, all those things are strengths and you kind of have to walk through that path and heal yourself and healing inside and, and understanding certain things and, and loving yourself. And when you really love yourself, it’s, it’s the strongest thing you can ever be in, you know?
ART: Yeah and then most cultures, that is something that men are not allowed to do, cry and feel and all that, all those things and –
BINDU BABU: –Boys don’t cry man p, right?
ART: Yup. Yup. I mean, we, here we’re, we’re taught it as children and we just grow with it. When I look back on my life, I, I think that that was one of the things that, that I’ve always been able to overcome because I’m a crier and I, I let my tears go and I could give a who likes it or doesn’t like it.
BINDU BABU: –Right.
ART: So many things in my life were based on that I learned at an early age that, you know, it didn’t matter what other people thought because they didn’t think kindly of me anyway. So it really didn’t matter to me what they thought. So I overcame it, but golly, it’s just been great talking to you, we’re running, you know, towards the end of our time.
BINDU BABU: –Oh yeah.
ART: Yeah. You and I can never spend enough time together.
BINDU BABU: –No.
ART: We could talk for hours –
BINDU BABU: –We can.
ART: -is one of the things you would like to leave with my audience as a, is there an epiphany or something that will drive them to greater expectations and understanding of the Epiphany’s that they have? And I gotta say this, it’s my belief that epiphany’s are the precursor to expectations that in our brain there’s that little place where we converted an epiphany into an expectation and then into an action and makes it possible. So what can, what would you like to leave with? With my guests, with my audience?“It's my belief that epiphanies are the precursor to expectations, that in our brain, there's that little place where we converted an epiphany into an expectation and then into an action and make it possible.” –Art Costello Click To Tweet
BINDU BABU: I think um, don’t be so quick to judge when you see something. I think that’s really important because we don’t know how many people and what they’re going through inside you know? I remember even with my own situation at that time, you know, even though, yes, it’s so many people, it’s pretty obvious if someone’s hurting you just walk out or just get out or just leave. But it’s not that simple you know, it’s not that simple because sometimes mentally you’re so controlled or drained or there’s other issues going on. So kindness can go really far to give somebody strength to keep moving in their life you know? And I think it’s, you know, it’s very nice that sometimes, hey, just opened the door for that person. Or you know, when you’re walking somewhere, give a smile. Don’t be quick to judge if you see anything because kindness can really give that person so much strength cause there are days where, I mean, I can be, at that time I was you know I still remember there was a time where I wanted to take my kids to a restaurant and I was sitting there like, I really shouldn’t do this, but I wanted to bring happiness to my kids. And I was very financially drained at that time because when you lose your, everything going on with, with your relationship, you know, it was tough. It was tough times and I walked into this and I said, I’m going to do it anyway. I’ll figure it out and I sat in that restaurant and I, my, my kids will order dessert and they’re all happy playing and so forth. And when the bill came, somebody paid it and I sat there and I said, who? where show me the guy paid it and left. Okay I can’t tell you the amount of positive energy and blessing I give this man almost every day. I don’t know where he is, who he is, but that, that timing, you know, and I most probably look like some woman who had it together with all these kids in this really fancy restaurant in the city. But I didn’t, you know, but he didn’t judge me for that and I was struggling. So I always remember thinking, and I can only say be kind, you don’t know what people are going through. Don’t book, don’t judge a book by the cover and every little kindness you do, you have no idea how impactful that can be for someone’s life you know?“Don't be so quick to judge when you see something, I think that's really important, because we don't know … what they're going through inside.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
ART: Well, that is a truth, that is a life truth. We never know what by looking at somebody, what is going on inside them. We just, there’s no way to know. That’s why we, it’s important to communicate.
BINDU BABU: –Yeah.
ART: It’s important to communicate.
BINDU BABU: And it was done nowadays too. We were all dressed up to the tee cause we were taking Christmas pictures so I didn’t, you know, I’m just, I’m just saying we didn’t look like we needed that kind of money or you know, it was just this person felt kind and did it and that was beautiful.
ART: He must have had an intuitive nature about him.“Kindness can go really far to give somebody strength to keep moving in their life.” –Dr. Bindu Babu Click To Tweet
BINDU BABU: Must be, must be. Not necessarily, they’re still happy and that helped me a lot at that time.
ART: And he probably was, is blessed by it by as you were. I mean he, I mean, you know that he was so, it’s great. Where can we find out more about what, how to get ahold of you and what you’re going to be doing in the future. What’s coming up for you?
BINDU BABU: Well, you can find me on my website, you know www.bindubabu.com that’s B I n d u, b a p u.com. I am doing some conferences next year I’m doing one in August in Barcelona. I’m supposed to do New York in April Oh no March. So I’m doing some conferences where I’m doing some speaking events, which is nice. I will be moving to a new office. Most probably will be hitting the city Manhattan so that people can reach me easier, which is nice. And I think, you know, you can always reach me through email, Facebook, Instagram, Dr. Bindu Babu and I’m more than willing to help anybody cause I get it.
ART: And that’s what a way to wrap up this inaugural show or Shower Epiphany’s.
BINDU BABU: — I’m so honored.
ART: No, I’m honored to have you on and uh, you know that I, I care about you deeply and, and I think you have so much to offer the world in it and it’s a blessing that you agreed to come on my show for the very, very first show.
BINDU BABU: –And it’s so amazing art. There’s no way anyone could disagree, you’re just such amazing human I’m the so blessed. Thank you.
ART: Well folks, that’s it for the first show. I hope you subscribe and tune in and we’re going to have many more guests that bring you value, but I don’t know that we’ll have anyone that will ever bring you more value than Dr. Bindu did today.
BINDU BABU: Awe, thank you.
ART: Thank you folks. We will plop to you tomorrow.
About Dr. Bindu Babu
Dr. Bindu Babu- an accomplished woman with a painful past. She is a renowned Keynote Speaker, Quantum Transformational Coach, Professor of Holistic Entrepreneurship, Reiki Practitioner and a Doctor of Integrative Medicine specializing in Healing and Recovery of Narcissistic Personality and Toxic Relationships. But to be who she is now, she needed to heal her inner self first. She grew up in a culture where status and name equates love and acceptance. She gave up her own passion to become what others saw as the conventional way of living. This pattern continued on in her marriage until she came to understand that there is no real love under the hands of a narcissist. No turning back, she gathered every courage she can have to find herself again. Today, she is determined to shine as a beacon of positivity to everyone who’s lost themselves in search for love.
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