The world is about finding your own uniqueness and shining this light of uniqueness to the world.” – Hanit Benbassat
Have you ever wished your life was full of adventures and excitement? Here’s one truth that you probably haven’t realized until now: Your uniqueness is the gateway to adventures! Adventures are created, not by exciting experiences, but by the person creating the excitement. Sadly, we barely see how unique we are when we get too occupied seeing the uniqueness in others. This week, Art chats with Hanit Benbassat, author of Be The Alchemist Series. They talk about how owning your uniqueness can dramatically change your life! Tune in and hear Hanit’s new and intelligent perspectives on overcoming fears, dealing with the past, navigating life, and tuning with your emotions. No life is more perfect and exciting than the life lived by one’s own truth!
Listen to the podcast here:
01:27 Intuitive Abilities
07:49 Facing Your Fears
16:55 Life Is An Adventure
26:42 Life Is Not Complicated
34:00 Let Go Of The Past
40:11 In-tune With Your Emotions
Have you ever wished you were someone else? Catch this week’s episode with @myexpectation and Hanit Benbassat as they talk about how authenticity opens the door to an epic journey! #expectationtherapy #epiphanies #podcast #fears #journey… Click To Tweet
08:33 “When you live your truth, that’s when happiness comes.” – Art Costello
17:39 “Take life as an adventure.” – Hanit Benbassat
19:35 “When you allow yourself to sit with yourself and connect to your inner power, you find the strength to deal with whatever comes to you.” – Hanit Benbassat
21:24 “Life is such a beautiful way to show how powerful we are, what we’re able to accomplish and what we actually want to become.” – Hanit Benbassat
28:41 “The simplest things can be the most beautiful things.” – Art Costello
29:16 “We are all unique in our own way…The world is about finding your own uniqueness and shining this light of uniqueness to the world.” – Hanit Benbassat
30:54 “You can truly own your life when you choose to hold your power and make priorities for yourself and not for somebody else to decide for you.” – Hanit Benbassat
Hanit Benbassat is a Certified NLP Life Coach, Rapid Transformational Coach, Certified Mindfulness Facilitator, Integrative Holistic Coach for kids and teens, and the creator of the award winning Be The Alchemist Series. Hanit was born in Israel and now lives in Orlando, Florida with her three brilliant children and an entrepreneurial husband. In her spare time, she also enjoys reading, exercising, hiking, visiting beautiful places around the world with her husband and kids learning to explore different cultures, meditating, connecting with crystals and spending time with friends and family. Hanit is currently completing the next installment in Be The Alchemist Series. Hanit has a private practice in Orlando, Florida, teaches in Israel, and also is available online through Zoom and internationally.
Art Costello: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies Podcast, today, Hanit Benbassat is a Certified NLP Life Coach, Rapid Transformational Coach, Certified Mindfulness Facilitator, Integrative Holistic Coach for Kids and Teens, and the creator of the award winning Be The Alchemist children book series. Hanit was born in Israel and now lives in Orlando, Florida with her three brilliant children, an entrepreneurial husband. She’s a good hiker, and I’ve got to get to know what a good hiker is, an amazing cook and a great gardener. In her spare time, she also enjoys reading, exercising, hiking, visiting beautiful places around the world with her husband and kids learning to explore different cultures, meditating, connecting with crystals and spending time with friends and family. Hanit is currently completing the next installment in Be The Alchemist series. Hanit has a private practice in Orlando, Florida, teaches in Israel, and also is available online through Zoom and internationally.
Welcome to the show Hanit. It’s a pleasure to have you here. Could you tell us your story?
Hanit Benbassat: Thank you, it’s a pleasure to be here.
Art Costello: Could you tell us how your journey began?
Hanit Benbassat: My journey begins? So I guess I should start from the beginning. There are a few studies that I was going through, in different periods of my life taught me and brought me to where I am today. As a young child, I was very intuitive. Not that I’m not intuitive now, but back then the word was so open and clear, and I felt the emotions of the people around me. I even like reading their thoughts, and everything was so open and clear in a way that I knew exactly what they’re going through and what exactly they need for themselves to feel better to be happy. Now, why am I mentioning that? Because that eventually connected me to my passion of working with children. So for my life, okay. So at this age it’s like I was really open and everything, but I was also very shy so I couldn’t share what I felt or what I knew about the people. It’s like, who am I that I will come and tell this person, okay, you have to change the way you think, or you have to say this to this person so everything will be okay. But I really saw and felt the essence of each person mostly in family and friends at this age. But sometimes also with strong people when I went to different places with my parents, it’s like really connecting to spirituality. I always love to read about spiritual books, about reincarnation, about the power of the mind. It’s like it’s always with me, it’s like it was so natural right from the beginning. And then I enjoy life. My childhood was very good in Israel, in Jerusalem. I love being outside. The childhood back then is different from what the children experienced today, right? It’s a totally different quality, different way of living, and everything was more simple. Everything was very simple, you just go outside, you play, you go back home for dinner, and that’s it. Sometimes doing your homework, you should feel and enjoy life. Very simple.
Art Costello: The question, one of the things that I find really intriguing, and it’s because of my own personal experience, but how is a child, did you know you are intuitive? For me, it was really interesting because I did not have a good childhood. My childhood was rather rather difficult, but in an odd kind of way. But I used to have to help myself heal and to help myself have clarity. I used to go to a mountain hill that was next to our house, and lay on my back and I would have a conversation with God. I’d ask God what was going to become of me because I did not know because my parents were not supportive. They were not attentive to their children, they kind of abandoned us and let us kind of live on our own. And I had a connection with God. Was there any event in your life that you can put your finger on and say, that’s how I became intuitive. How I started listening to myself.
Hanit Benbassat: Yes. And you know what? Your journey in a way is really similar to mine because when you become, like you turn into a teenager, everything’s changing. The way you see yourself, the way you feel about yourself. I didn’t love myself at all, I didn’t feel pretty, I didn’t feel I’m beautiful, I even felt stupid in times. It’s like, I always compare myself to my friends. And like you mentioned about your parents, I don’t know exactly what the story is with your parents. But I know in my time also, my parents, I didn’t have a lot of communication with them. Nobody was there to talk to me and ask me questions, or care about me. Like deep conversations. Like I said, it’s like, we are always outside, they are busy with work, coming back, organizing the house, cooking dinner, and that’s about it. That interaction was kind of, weekends was the time that we like going out, going to family, but it’s always like the focusing was more on the outside, not on the inside of what you are feeling? How are you feeling? If you need any help, if you need any support. I was the one who needed to help myself. So as you mentioned, I also enjoy putting music on and just talking to God. That’s how I know I’m intuitive because what I discovered later on, every time I’m envisioning something, there was a scenario that really something, an issue that really bothered me like with friends and children. I need some help to say the right thing. I was lying on bed and imagining the scenario, like what’s going on. And I remember, so we would need like three windows open in front of me every time, the same thing. And it’s like, I got like three options, three options of potentials of what can happen, and I just needed to choose what the scenario, how I want the scenario to turn into. And why I’m mentioning that was because it’s so profound in a way, so many times that I was choosing this one choice of the windows and it was happening exactly the same as I envision it. And I’m sending exactly, it’s like word to word, like I can see the person what he was wearing that day, he was wearing the same thing. It was saying the same thing. We live in the desert, but you’re ahead of time that you’re going to experience that. That’s how I realized later on that it was really a highly intuitive ability of me communicating with my own power.
Art Costello: Yeah. People sometimes get scared especially when we’re children, we get scared when we see or hear things that we do not know. And when I heard the voice inside of me, I believed it was God speaking through my inner body, it frightened me and I didn’t want to tell anybody about it. I really kept that inside of me until I was well into my adult years before I finally really came to reckon with it that I had a relationship with God at a personal level, you know? And what I want people to understand is that it’s very important to listen to your inner self, your inner being, to listen to that intuition and live your truth because when you live your truth, that’s when happiness comes.“When you live your truth, that's when happiness comes.” - Art Costello Click To Tweet
Hanit Benbassat: Yes, exactly. And I can tell you that because after I explained such profound experiences in a way I changed, again, teenage years were tough on me and I started to ignore my own self. I didn’t give myself time to sit quietly as before. And I was really caught up in my own mind, in my own feelings. And they became very emotional so maybe to not wanna change, I don’t know why. So I didn’t experience it the same way as before. So in a way I forgot who I am, that’s what happened to me. And I was kind of like drawn into life, into this routine of school, and friends, and drama and all of that. I didn’t allow myself the same time as before, I forgot why I am. And that’s part of my passion because I realize, but it was temporary. I forgot time for temporary time. But then I realized that this was like, the only time that I was able to accomplish what I wanted. And what happened to me is that I started to experience difficulty in school. I didn’t study well, the grades weren’t good, I didn’t like friends around me. I really felt this pressure of wanting to change this, I really need to switch something in my life. That was an interesting time for me, because at the age of like 14, 15, I asked my mom to move to a different school. Do you know this inner calling of me, changing something in me was really guiding me to ask my mom to change school. I really want to change the environment. I really want to shift something. And my grades were so bad. I decided that doesn’t matter what’s going on, I need to move from where I am. I didn’t like the people I was hanging with. Not that I did something, not that they were bad or something like that, but they always remind me what I didn’t like about myself.
So when I went to the meeting with the principal of the school, he told me: “Listen, your grades are not good. I don’t know. I can’t accept you to this school. You really need to work hard to be in this school.” “I don’t care. I’m going to do anything that you ask me. I just really need to move to this school.” “Okay. Let’s make a deal. You have to stay one semester.” I needed to repeat one grade again, and this is embarrassing this age. I’m going to tell all my friends that that’s what I’m going on with me. Like, I’m really admitting I’m dumb, stupid, that’s what I always thought about myself. But I decided, okay, I decided I want this change. I’m going to make this deal. I had an annoying, strong, passionate interest in that, I know I’m going to succeed. No matter what, I’m going to succeed. And that’s why I mentioned it because it was such a powerful time when I made this deal with the principal, he was also my physics teacher, it was tough. He was on top of me, like, let’s see. You promise, let’s see what’s going on. I made a decision almost with myself. It was a switch, just a matter of a switch. I said: “Whatever that fear was before, I’m actually going to face this fear.” I need to overcome the fear, and I’m not giving up on myself. For example, very simple, I came to school the first day, what I was afraid of? I was very shy. I was afraid of speaking in class. So let’s say the teacher asks a question, I’m not going to be the one who raised the hand, that’s the old me. But the new me said, nope, you’re going to be the first one to raise your hand and answer the question. And that’s what I did. So step by step, I was doing exactly what I didn’t do before, I was facing my fears. And I’m telling you that was like three magical [inaudible]. If before I feel stupid, I didn’t feel beautiful, I didn’t feel like I can communicate with kids, that kids don’t like me. I was like the star of the class. It’s like it was beyond my wild dreams. And I remember that even the principal was so happy with me. I was entering one day to the class where the physics test was and it was a big test, they asked me: “Do you know how much you got to the tests?” “I don’t know, maybe 65?” “You got the highest point, the highest grade, like 95.” And like: “Wow.” My grades are so high in a way that they even gave me bonus points. That’s how powerful this time was for me. And why am I mentioning that? I mentioned all of that because we really have these special powers inside of us that if we tap into, we are able to accomplish so many great things in our life. And it’s not supposed to be a challenge or hard, it can be very joyful and flowing. And like you said, happiness, you’re going through this flow of happiness. For me, happiness is the compass, my inner compass. I have this inner compass in my heart that I know, if I’m thinking about something and it doesn’t feel happy. If it feels heavy, it’s like, nope, it’s not the right thing for me. It’s not aligned with what is for me right now. You know, I’m changing. It really helped me to stay on my path.
Art Costello: What I love about this is that when I’m working with my clients that I work with, I tell them I hate the word “I can’t.” All you’re saying is, I won’t. I mean, when you say I can’t, you’re really saying, I won’t do it. And I tell people, take your hand, put it on your temple and then turn the switch off, and then turn on the positive switch. And do you know that when people do that, the physical action of turning on, turning something off, and then turning something else on gives them the power of choice. Because a lot of people don’t understand that everything is a choice. Everything we do is a choice, and you’ve got to make the decisions. You gotta make the choices. So you might as well make them in a positive way, and that’s what you did. You decided you were going to make the choice to change and be the new Hanit, and how beautiful, how beautiful was that?“When you allow yourself to sit with yourself and connect to your inner power, you find the strength to deal with whatever comes to you.” - Hanit Benbassat Click To Tweet
Hanit Benbassat: It was very beautiful. And it was so strong and profound that it really inspired me to continue doing this throughout my life. And now I mentioned that, and it’s not that it’s okay. Yes, we’ve gone through different stages in our life. When I was 18 years old, in Israel, it’s mandatory to go to the army. So it’s a different environment. You need to learn new things about yourself, you actually meet different people, different attitudes, you learn how to be tough to protect yourself in a different way. It really helped me to stay focused and true to myself, and really take life as an adventure. Again, coming here to the US wasn’t an easy journey for me, actually from the beginning when I came here, I thought it’s going to be a four years adventure. I’m coming here with my husband, he’s going to be in the university to finish his degree, and then I’m going back to Israel for, you know, four years. But I’ve had some other plans for, we mentioned that in the beginning, right? So meanwhile, when we came here, we came on student visa, but it was late to the university and they told him: “Listen, you can’t start right now, you have to come next year.” Now, as a couple, we sold everything in Israel. We saved all our money just to come here for four years for his university. Wasn’t able to go back again and wait another year. Like, we didn’t have the trust, we were like, okay, we here, we have to do something about it. So we started like a green card process, and that by itself took us like eight years to finish. So eight years, I feel like I’m living in a golden cage here in the US, I couldn’t go to my country. And meanwhile, we build a business. We’ve been family, but again, it’s life, I didn’t plan that. I just flow with it, and flowing with it means that sometimes it’s tough, you have breaking points. And I had many breaking points, like I don’t know if it’s even worth it to stay here. Like why? Why am I insisting on staying here? With all these big questions, if it’s good for us to say, or if it’s better for us to be here or to go back, if it’s good for us to raise our family here. So many tough questions that you deal with. But again, when you allow yourself to sit with yourself and connect to your inner power, then you find the strength to deal with whatever comes to you.“Take life as an adventure.” - Hanit Benbassat Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Plus it’s all a learning experience. Things don’t happen to us, they happen for us.
Hanit Benbassat: Exactly.
Art Costello: And they’re meant to teach us lessons that are preparing us for future events in our life. That’s my belief in it. When things go on that we question is when we’re growing our most. When we start having to really challenge ourselves and make those difficult choices, we learn so much about ourselves and it makes us better people. It makes us more beautiful, more happy. I think there’s just a lot of benefits to it. But unfortunately, a lot of people look at it as why is this happening to me? Instead of looking at it as a learning experience instead of questioning, why is it happening? Saying, okay, this is happening so I can become a better person and grow and become who I’m supposed to be.
Hanit Benbassat: Yes.
Art Costello: So not getting into college was meant to teach you and your husband a huge lesson in growth.
Hanit Benbassat: Oh, believe me, I learned a lot. First, the experience that I had here, the first few years was amazing. And you know, that’s so beautiful because with this experience, I learned so much about myself and my own passion. That’s how I build my own character of who I am today. Every time I’m looking back on what I experience, even the hardest time, I realized, Oh, my God, this is so beautiful. Life is such a beautiful way to show us how powerful we are, what we’re able to accomplish and all we actually want to become. So let’s say for example, I mentioned that it was very hard for me to come here to do this, but let’s say to be a sales person, that was my first job here. Wasn’t something I envisioned for myself. Yes, I was so into spirituality. I wanted to study Chinese medicine and be in this world of energy, not that I’m not now, but I took a different route. So as a sales person, I realized that I have such an amazing relationship with people. I realized that even with my broken English, I was able to communicate to beautiful people. And why am I saying that? Because people like, I had a regular customers that used to come to me, not only to buy my product, but actually to sit, let’s say for half an hour for conversation, and I received like thank you notes, and letters, because this Orlando is a tourist [inaudible], so I always receive postcards and letters from people, like tourist from different countries. But that was so beautiful that I just realized, wow, if people send me those letters and postcards, it means that I make a difference in their life. I’m inspired by my own presence. But at that moment, I didn’t know, I was just in that. But later on when I was thinking back, I’m just saying, I realize how life guided me so beautifully in such an adventurous way to who I am today, to have this communication with people. That’s what I’m doing, I’m working with people, my passion is to help people and showing them their part inside of them that really helped them to remember who they are. I elaborated every time I see this lighten up face after I’m speaking to someone, another person that you know is connected to self loving along with themselves. It’s like a light bulb, you know, turn it on.“Life is such a beautiful way to show how powerful we are, what we're able to accomplish and what we actually want to become.” - Hanit Benbassat Click To Tweet
Art Costello: Yeah. What I love about it is, I was just thinking as you were speaking and having read your latest book, Jake’s Quest For The Five Stones, your journey is very much like Jake. That’s a beautiful thing because when I read it, I thought in my head, somebody who wrote this, because I hadn’t met you when I read your book, we hadn’t talked. I said: “Somebody has a deep understanding of how journeys go, how they progress.” And that’s what’s so beautiful about your book is that it leads, Jake’s journey, leads the reader, the children that read your book on all the different facets of the journey of life, and what it can do for them, and how it can empower them to be just like Jake. I mean, it’s beautifully put together. I love it.
Hanit Benbassat: Thank you, Art.
Art Costello: I had to get that in there because I’m really interested in your book. I want people to, I think your book should be in every children’s library, not only at home, but in school.
Hanit Benbassat: Thank you. You mentioned Jake’s journey from my book, Jake’s Quest For The Five Stones. It’s a hero’s journey and we actually, we all are going for the hero’s journey, right? The ups and downs of life. And I know from people’s reaction, kids and adults, that they all find themselves in Jake. And I know we all have this part of we’re going through life and we really need to find the inner power and this realization of what we are in connecting to our emotions and using the very practical, simple tools that Jake’s using in the book to align to who we are and what we want to accomplish in our life.
Art Costello: Leads me to another big thing that I have. We complicate life so much. We complicate it so much and life is so simple when you really put it into perspective, we don’t have to make it so complicated. I don’t know if it’s us trying to be intellectual as people and thinking that we have to intellectualize everything to make it more complicated, which makes it more intellectual or whatever. But when we do things so simply, and we listen to our inner selves, and we are who we are, and we just live authentically, simply, things always work out. That was the thing that I learned going as a nine year old, going to that hilltop and laying on my back. The greatest thing I learned was that everything always works out just the way it’s supposed to, if you have faith. If you don’t fear and you just let things be, when I was in Vietnam, and I know you being a soldier in Israel, when you’re a soldier, you’re in combat, you don’t even know what’s going to happen. You live in a state of flux, you could die at any moment. So you almost have to accept your fate, you almost have to accept that and have faith that God is going to see you through this. And that’s what got me through Vietnam. For me, I always had faith that everything was going to work out the way it was supposed to. If dying in Vietnam was what was supposed to happen to me, then I was okay with that. I was going to do the best job. I was going to be the best Marine I could be in Vietnam. I think that we just sometimes make everything so complicated instead of just looking at it simply that we lose sight of the goodness that is in every single event, every single day in our lives, the most simplest things can be the most beautiful things. And for me, it has led me on this journey to meeting people like you, people that I just absolutely love and care about, who care about other people, who care about the world we live in, who want to live their lives authentically. This is what it’s about. This is what’s empowering. This is what’s beautiful. If we just go and let it be, it’ll happen. I don’t think God has the same plan for each and every one of us.“The simplest things can be the most beautiful things.” - Art Costello Click To Tweet
Hanit Benbassat: No, that will be boring. What’s beautiful about this world is that we are all unique in our own way. And the world is not about competition, the world is about finding your own uniqueness and just shining this light of uniqueness to the world because we are, it sounds like a slogan, but it’s true. We are part of this huge puzzle and if you’re not going to do your part, it’s like missing. We’re all in that together so it’s very important that you find your own truth and find your own light, and not focus on the outside world of what you are supposed to do or need to do. And listen to all this noise. That’s why life is not to be very complicated because there’s too much noise out there, especially now, there is so much information out there. You can draw that information if you’re not taking control over it. It’s so easy to watch TV around the clock, listen to the news, and I don’t know, like opening your Facebook or your Instagram and going on the internet. It’s so much information out there that. I have a paragraph in the book that I want to read that I think is very important, it says, “You get to choose and be the leader of your own life. You get to choose who you want to be, how you want to think, how you want to feel, how you want to act and respond to those experiences in your life.” You see, you can choose to feel like a victim or to stand in your own power. Now, you can truly own your life when you choose to hold your power and make priorities for yourself and not for somebody else to decide for you.“We are all unique in our own way…The world is about finding your own uniqueness and shining this light of uniqueness to the world.” - Hanit Benbassat Click To Tweet
Like you said, simply switch, right? It’s a switch. And just like life doesn’t need to be complicated. Example, sitting quietly for only three minutes makes such a huge difference in your new state of mind, in your own presence. It’s even approved scientifically that when you sit quietly and you just focus on your breathing for three minutes, you don’t need more than that. All the biochemicals of your brain and your whole body are changing. And you align yourself, again, with this stillness, this quietness. And when you are in this place, there’s so much power in it. It always says that there is so much power in silence because silence is really, for me, it’s the presence of God. Allowing yourself to open all your channels and listen, just listen. Silence and a word listen are the same letters, right? You’re changing the order. So there is something in it, it doesn’t exist for no reason. That’s a message for us. If silence and listening are the same letters, pay attention to it, it has some powers here in the universe. There is a formula here that you can use, a simple formula, practical tool that you can use to be in a different place.
Art Costello: Yeah, yeah. I just went back into the state when I was a kid, nine years old laying on that Hilltop, nothing around me, nothing around me for miles, just blue sky, looking into the blue sky. And I was so in that silence, that’s when we can really be in the presence of God, you are so correct. I had never thought of it in the context that I put myself in an environment that God was able to speak to me, but that’s what I was doing. He heard me, my pleas for help, because I used to just lay on my back and ask God what is going to become of me? What is going to become me? I just didn’t know. I didn’t want to live the existence I was living. And I also knew that there was a greatness in me. I knew that that greatness had to come out and channeling God’s voice through me, really put me, set me on the path. And it took a long time. It wasn’t something that just happened. I mean, it took many, many, many, many years for me to realize what it all meant, what it was supposed to be. I think that people that are listening, we live in a world of, we want it now. Sometimes you gotta be patient because God works at his time table, not ours.You can truly own your life when you choose to hold your power and make priorities for yourself and not for somebody else to decide for you.” - Hanit Benbassat Click To Tweet
Hanit Benbassat: And what is time? It’s a wait and illusion because, eventually, life is the journey. It’s not where you get into, you know, it’s not like a specific destination, it’s a journey. And what I mentioned in the paragraph from Jake quest, we all live on an awakening journey. [inaudible] leads us to believe in yourself and be authentic, and not being in the society, and sometimes to achieve and feel right. It takes time, and like you mentioned before, even when you fall and you have difficulties, it’s not bad. It doesn’t feel good at that moment, but eventually you realize you’ll learn so much about yourself. Again, it’s a gift, really a gift because you’ll learn so much about your own power. You’ll learn so much of what you are capable, or what you’re not capable of doing. And that’s by itself. It’s good. You have to be grateful, not only for what you have but also for what you don’t have. And it’s good by itself because sometimes we think we know exactly what we want in our life, and what we need in our life. But as I mentioned before, with my own journey, nope, God has different plans for us. And when you trust, and you are in a surrender mode, and what I mean surrender, it’s not that, okay, whatever. I’m not going to do anything and behave like a victim. It’s like you allow yourself to be in the flow, so you’re going through this river of life. And the river of life is so beautiful in a way. I just read it somewhere that, actually, you can go back and think about the past because the past is already gone like the river exactly. The water already passed, they will never come back again. So I look at the past, you can look at the past only if it’s like empowering you, but if it’s working for you? Why? What’s the reason? Why waste your energy on that? On focusing on luck, and focusing on the pain.
Art Costello: My mother was a person who always lived in the past because her father was very wealthy in New York, and during the depression, he lost everything. And my mother was a young girl at the time. My mother always used to say: “I wished that my dad hadn’t lost all of his money.” I wished, I wish, I wish, I wish. And I always used to say to my mother: “You can wish your life away, but it doesn’t change a thing.” It doesn’t change a thing. The only thing that changes today, from this moment on is when you flip that switch and you say, I’m going to do something different, and I’m going to be a better person, I’m going to be a better whatever, whatever it is you choose. And you flip that switch, that’s when change happens, the past doesn’t matter anymore.
Hanit Benbassat: Exactly. And when you focus on lightening up your heart, and focusing on joy and happiness, you hurt yourself to be mindful of the process of life, and enjoy that adventure, and to have the good and the bad. Because it’s all temporary. It’s like stepping stones, every stone, it has a meaning in your life. It teaches you something about yourself, about life, about the new path you’re taking, or the door that you’re closing. It’s so beautiful. So just like if you’re patient, trusting your own self, and trusting that God, universe, higher power is here to help you and always with you, supporting you. Everything becomes so much easier, and that brings me to the word expectations. Expectation, we have expectations of life. We try to connect the dots, and in a way we’re actually trying to force ourselves on life. And it doesn’t work that way. Instead you have to go, as I mentioned before, with the flow and allowing it to let go. Like you mentioned the past, let go of the past. And that’s beautiful, Dr. [inaudible] is talking about it. He is saying that wisdom is actually, to know your experience, you learn from your own experience. There is no emotion attached to it. And I love that. For me, I think that’s the way of life, you become wise from your own experience. Yes, I’ve been through hard times, but what did I learn about it? What I’m making out of it? Are you going to repeat the same mistakes or repeat the same ways? Are you going to think the same way? Are you going to act the same way? No, you actually have to be responsible in your own life and learn from it. So instead of crying or really digging in the past, take the past, sit with it and allow yourself to learn from it. And there’s something that I’m mentioning in the book, the book is really teaching about connecting to your own feelings and emotions. Some people see it as a crime to be emotional, to [inaudible]. What are the emotions? The emotions are like an energy in motion. And it’s very important because this is the information that’s come for us, from our own experiences.
Art Costello: I’m into emotional intelligence, because most people do not know how to even identify their emotions. They confuse them. I want people to really become in tune with their emotions, know what they are. It’s not about not having emotions, it’s about knowing what they are and what to do with them. That’s what’s important. What do you do with your emotions? How do you use them to benefit yourself? How do you use those emotions to grow as a person? What’s important about emotions? It’s not about not having them, I mean, we’re told as kids don’t cry. Don’t cry, don’t do this. And people use that as a control mechanism, they want to control, like I was really intrigued when you were saying, you thought of yourself as not being smart. I don’t like using that word stupid–
Hanit Benbassat: I know.
Art Costello: –because it’s a label that we put, and I don’t believe that there’s a stupid person on the face of this earth. We may do things that are not in line with what we should be doing or how we should be doing, but we’re not stupid. God gave us all the tools to be successful to each and every single one of us. He has given the tools to be who we are, how we’re supposed to be, we just need to use them. We just need to use the tools.
Hanit Benbassat: Exactly. Yeah. I used the word stupid because that’s how I really felt back then. For me, it was so painful because I’ve been told a few times that I’m stupid, that’s why I was using this. I don’t like it either, I don’t think there is a word, like it doesn’t exist. But kids use it sometimes, and that’s how we learn about it.
Art Costello: Believe it or not, the teachers use it with their students. I mean, I’ve heard in classrooms where teachers have used the word and said, Oh, you’re stupid. Go sit down. I mean, I’ve heard that personally, and maybe that’s why I’m so big on labels because I believe that we live up to the labels that were placed on us. If you think you’re something, you are going to be that something. If you think you’re great, you’re going to be great. If you think you’re going to be less than, you’re going to be less than. And that’s something that we need to eradicate in this world. We just need to be who we are, how we are, where we are and enjoy and learn from every little bit of experience.
Hanit Benbassat: Yes. And that’s the story, our story, Jake’s story, actually to see everything as a gift. Everything there is to actually help you. Even for children, if you’re going through being bullied, or you have low self esteem, or experiencing fears, or let’s say in adults, I think the book is [inaudible]. And I got response from adults like, wow, that’s really like–
Art Costello: I believe it.
Hanit Benbassat: So for adults going for, let’s say divorce, you lose a job, this is a tough experience you’re going through your life. It’s very challenging. Sometimes it’s hard to see it as a gift losing a job or being divorced, but this internal and external stone that Jake also going through in the book, if you shift, you change the way you look at life, you change your perspective, you can see it as a gift because you are strong and you are more powerful than you think you are. You’re very tough, and that’s how it’s important to connect to the trusting, and the flow, and the inner compass. Yes?
Art Costello: Yes. And with that being said, we’re gonna run out of time here pretty soon. I want to give you the time to tell us where people can get a hold of you, and leave us with any last thoughts.
Hanit Benbassat: Yes. Okay. I enjoyed it so much. It’s like, what? Time passed already?
Art Costello: That’s exactly right, but we’re going to do it again.
Art Costello: You can, we’re going to put it in the show notes so people will see it anyway, but you can.
Hanit Benbassat: Yeah. So I was working with Zoom before it even started to be so popular. I love it because it really gave me the freedom and the flexibility to travel around the world and also help people. So that’s why I became really fast internationally because it’s so much easier to work with Zoom. Helping people and children through Zoom with coaching or other modalities that I’m using. So if you want to learn more about what I’m doing, there’s a lot of information online, or you can shoot an email or call me. What I want to say is the quote that I love, “What you think, what you say, and how you respond, this is how you create your own harmony.” So really pay attention to what you think about yourself, what you think about your life, the way you respond to it, the way you feel about it, it’s really, really important. You have so much power in you, and this power can be a victim or can be like a huge gift, love, because we are love. Yes?
Art Costello: Yes. And thank you for that. And we’re going to close out on that note. What a beautiful quote that is, and what a beautiful thought. And again, I’m going to tell everybody that you can get information on our show notes and everything. I want you to reach out and get her books. The series is spectacular and it will help you in every facet of your life. And with that being said, everybody knows where they can get a hold of me. [email protected] is my email, website is expectationtherapy.com. And with that, Heather White, go ahead and take us out of here.
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