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 “It’s about having a good conversation with [your kids] and asking them questions… If we go first, and we’re vulnerable first, then they’re going to be more willing to be open and to share how they’re feeling.” -Diane Scabilloni

 

We’ve heard it said: “Kids can tell.” Yes, they really can sense if there is something wrong and not normal. In this episode, Art and inspirational author Diane Scabilloni discuss how modern parents can help their kids navigate through their childhood and adolescent years successfully. Diane also gives us a glimpse of her 2 books, My Friendship With Doubt and Rulers Don’t Measure. Her books contain lessons about self-doubt and self-comparison that can benefit both parents and their kids. We also learn how social media has changed our perception of reality, why the first 4 years of a child’s life is crucial, and what humans really need in order to feel complete. But what if despite all the efforts to connect with your children, you still find it hard to get them to open up? Tune in and find out Diane’s secret conversation builders!

 

Listen to the podcast here:

 

Highlights:

01:20 Dreaming to Live Like Normal Kids
07:44 Books That Can Change How Young People Live Their Lives
12:46 What Humans Really Need 
18:45 What Decision Will You Make? 
21:19 How to Help Your Kid to Open Up
29:22 The Reality of the Virtual World 
36:00 Don’t Be Afraid To Make Mistakes

What is the greatest life lesson you would want your child to learn? Join in as @myexpectation and @DianeScabilloni discuss how to beat modern-day parenting challenges. # expectationtherapy #epiphanies #podcast #parenting #conversationbuilder… Click To Tweet

 

Resources:

Book

Quotes:

“The essential thing that every human being needs is love and acceptance.” -Art Costello

“When we try to change people, it may go against what their actual destiny is.” -Art Costello

“To get past the doubt, you need to look forward to and expect the positive.” -Diane Scabilloni

 “It’s about having a good conversation with [your kids] and asking them questions… If we go first, and we’re vulnerable first, then they’re going to be more willing to be open and to share how they’re feeling.” -Diane Scabilloni

“You can fall into a big trap of trying to measure up to what other people think. When you’re susceptible to the expectations of others, that’s how people get controlled.” -Art Costello 

“What’s being portrayed [in social media] is not always reality. It’s just a picture at a perfect time. The reality of before and after the picture may not have really been true.” -Diane Scabilloni

“You won’t know if you don’t try. And if you let fear run you, you’re never going to go out and try.” -Art Costello

 

Connect with Diane:

Diane Scabilloni speaks with spiritual clarity and shares stories on challenging and emotional topics in a beautiful and uplifting way. She lovingly guides children to identifying and clearing mindset blocks and recognizing their authentic beauty and personal gifts. Diane believes that there are big plans for every single child’s life, which is meant to be joyful, creative, fun, and filled with ease and flow. She resides in Pennsylvania with her husband and two sons in the greater Pittsburgh area, working as a mortgage banker sharing her talents of connecting and inspiring her fellow neighbors.

 

Transcription:

Art Costello: Welcome to the Shower Epiphanies Podcast. Today, Diane Scabilloni is going to be on the show. Actually, I had her and recorded her before, but then the recording didn’t take, so this is a second chance to go through it. We should have a lot of experience together, but it is going to be fun. Diane speaks with spiritual clarity, shares stories on challenging and emotional topics in a beautiful and uplifting way. She lovingly guides children to identify and clear their mindset, and recognize their authentic beauty and personal gifts. Diane believes there are big plans for every single child’s life, which has been to be joyful, creative, fun, and filled with ease and flow. She resides in Pennsylvania with her husband and two sons in the greater Pittsburgh area, working as a mortgage banker, sharing her talents of connecting and inspiring her fellow neighbors. Diane, welcome to the show. It’s a pleasure having you back.

Diane Scabilloni: Oh, I’m so happy to be here, so great to see you Art. Thank you. I appreciate it.

Art Costello: Can you tell us this journey you’ve been on?

Diane Scabilloni: Oh, goodness, yes. It’s been an amazing spiritual journey, and I think it starts for probably for a lot of people that have had, kind of like my beginning stages of life as a child were not the greatest. It was very abusive, alcoholism, emotional, physical, sexual, all kinds of different abuses. So knowing, and even being told by my mom when I was a small child that this isn’t normal and it’s like, okay, well, get me out of here. But she didn’t because she had her own issues, her own fears and stuff, you know? So having that experience, I needed to recognize it wasn’t normal. I wanted to get better, and grow from it, and experience a better life like I saw other people experiencing. So just at a pretty young age, I mean, probably like in high school, and then in college, I started to get into a personal journey of just a lot of following all kinds of different spiritual paths and self exploration like personal growth journeys and all of that kind of stuff. I would always have been spiritual or a business coach, always wanting to get better and be better.

Art Costello: Isn’t it amazing how at a young age that you can recognize you needed to get better, that you needed to heal yourself in many ways. It always fascinates me how, because it happened to me at nine. I knew at nine, after being abandoned that I had to figure out life because I had no one to tell me. When I see people that recognize that, I’m always intrigued by how, what led you to recognize them? Can you identify any of the key elements that made you say, Diane, I need to change. Diane, I want to change. Diane, I want to be a better person.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. Oh, my gosh. That’s such a good question. I think it was just this feeling inside my heart that I wasn’t being my authentic self that I would hold back, pull back. I remember, I was in high school and college and I would be hanging out with someone, then like come back later and reflect on that and say, you know what? I really don’t even remember being in that situation. It was like, I would have liked an out of body experience. It sounds really weird, but it’s just like I was not present in my body. I just knew that I was completely disconnected. And then I also knew that there were so many negative thoughts that I had in my head that I would see, God puts the right people on your path. And there’s been different spiritual teachers that I’ve had, even in grade school and high school that just seemed like they were connected to a higher being. I knew there was one and I knew that it would speak to me, but then I would be too afraid to go deeper into that. I was in a constant state of fight or flight and I knew that that wasn’t normal, I just knew. I had to learn from other people and just listen to my inside to get out of that. I guess I’m hoping, yeah, am I answering your question?

Art Costello: Well, you are ahead. I’m going to ask you something, kind of personal in a way. Were you raised with Catholicism?

Diane Scabilloni: I was.

Art Costello: I was too. I wonder how much, some of the things that we carry in or by the teachings of the church, and people ask me, are you religious? Are you spiritual? Or what are you? And I’m kind of a little bit of everything because I believe that God is good. God is great. That he does put people in front of this, and he has in my life. I hear it from you, I hear it with so many people. People just come at the right perfect time. For instance, for me, I had a sixth grade teacher. Kids were, I don’t want to say they were bullying me because they couldn’t bully me. I was just too strong, but they would make fun behind my back and make me feel bad that way to shame. They always had more than I had, dressed better, had better shoes and all that. I had said something in this social studies class, Mr. Paul [inaudible] was my sixth grade social studies teacher. He came up behind me and I had said something then everybody’s kind of snickering at everything. And he said, he whispered in my ear: “Your greatness will come Art. You are a great person.” Do you know that that stuck with me my entire life when he said that, which leads me into the thing that we’re really here to talk about. And that’s how you influence children’s writing. Now that we have a little bit of background about it, you do incredible things. I’ve read your material, I love it. I think it’s very necessary that your book should be in every school for kids to read, because it’s authentic, it’s real. Kids need that because today, they’re dealing with so much outside influences that they believe. They believe all the social media things, they believe all that. I just read an article today that said that seventh grade girls, and my granddaughter in the eighth grade, but it said that there was a study done with seventh grade girls. If they don’t have five or 600 likes on their posts, they go into depression. I’m thinking that they’re experiencing this.

Diane Scabilloni: Right.

Art Costello: So when you do, can you tell us what your books are about and how you write them? I know where the inspiration comes but tell everybody where it is.

Diane Scabilloni: Yes, yes. The inspiration is funny because it really is a lot about self healing. One of the things, and my first book, I always knew I wanted to be an author, but I didn’t know what it was going to look like. I was meeting with one of my business coaches a few years back and I said: “I don’t need doubt in my life anymore.” I was so excited by making that statement and she’s like, Oh, geez. She knew that I journaled all the time. She says: “You should write a book about that.”

Art Costello: And you did, you wrote a book called, My Friendship with Doubt.

Diane Scabilloni: Yes. That just like clicks, you know, right then. And I started writing and I was like, Oh, it’s going to be a children’s book. And it’s just about the way doubt in my mind is. I just imagine it to be like a cloud. It just doubt would protect me from my own strengths and the things that I was afraid to share. Maybe even in an abusive family situation, you can’t share,. like the girl discovers that when she came to earth, she received a treasure chest. And in the treasure chest were gifts of strength, wonder, joy, peace, gentleness so she had doubt that she had those things and she was afraid to share them because doubt would come in the way and block her. So it was just, it’s a great story because it helped me to realize doubt was my friend for a time because you can’t go up in an abusive situation and you’re like eight years old and put your hands on your hips and say, Hey, I’m strong. But in your heart, you can. That’s what I feel. I’m here to just teach children that they can feel that they have that strength in their heart and know that they have that. Even though there’s this cloud of doubt that might come in to protect them, that’s okay for a time, just to know who they really are in their spirit, in their hearts. And yeah, so I mean, the book has the happy ending that the young person decides to choose to focus on hope more than her doubt.

Art Costello: Do you think that that is fear?

Diane Scabilloni: Yes.

Art Costello: Yeah. That’s how I pick at that because my area of expertise is expectations. Expectations, all the expectations we have, we looked through two lenses or perspectives. Either positive or negative, faith or fear, just whatever you want to call it. Of course, faith and hope, all those things are what propels us, and doubt and fear is what stops us from being who we’re meant to really be, who God wants us to be, who the person is that we’re supposed to be. Anytime that you can shift the child’s thinking into the positive, we’re doing good because the more they are bombarded today. What are some of your thoughts on what kids actually end up with today and the challenges they have in this society?

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. It’s related to, like the way in my book is I feel like the message that they bring is that God, that you are loved. I feel like that’s what sometimes kids are missing because we’re so caught up in technology and what everybody else does. My other book, Rulers Don’t Measure is all about how we compare ourselves. I feel like the major promises Art is, you are loved. You are loved, and that you have special gifts and talents. And honestly, you’re never alone. You’re always protected. I feel like the message there for kids is for them to know that they don’t love a bowl, that there is a creator that has, you know, they have a special thumbprint. Everybody’s special.

Art Costello: I believe that there’s one of the essential things that every human being needs is love and acceptance. We all want to be accepted, but paramount is we all want to be loved. We want to feel loved. We want to know we’re loved. We wanted to touch us in every single way. I’m sitting here thinking, I tell my granddaughters every chance I get that I love them. I tell my children that I love them. I tell my wife I love her. I tell people, either you’ve talked to me, I ended up with every conversation with, I love you. You know, I love you. People think it’s slipping, but I truly love, I find so much to love about people and find the qualities that they have. I really just fall in love with people for who they are. I don’t try to judge them, I don’t try to be critical of them, I accept how they are and who they are. I think that that’s a lot of what our problem is in this world. I mean, whether you look at religion, politics, schools, whatever it is, they’re always trying to change you. When we try to change people, it may go against what their actual destiny is. Because being accepted and knowing who you are, and then following that path, I would have never ever dreamt that a 63 years old, 10 years ago, that I would have been on this journey that I’m on now. I mean, my interests have always been in psychology and all those things, but it wasn’t until my wife passed away from ovarian cancer in 2006, that I really started examining who I was and where I was going, because I felt abandoned again, lost. We went through all those feelings when you have grief and stuff that, when you lose somebody. But it came out of there. I came ahead of it and that’s what really intrigued me. I mean, my kids had to wake me up. They had to hit me over the head with a pan and say: “Dad, you promised mom you weren’t going to do this.” Blah, blah, blah, and all that. But sometimes, the journey that we’re on, takes experience, time, patience, awareness, kindness, all of those things to get us. I could have been 63, just packed it in and said that I’m going to retire. I’m just going to sit out at the ranch and just twiddle my thumbs and do nothing.

“The essential thing that every human being needs is love and acceptance.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Diane Scabilloni: Right.

Art Costello: I chose not. I made a choice not to do that. I wanted to be different. Whether we do it at 13, 9, or we do it at 25, 30, or 40, or 50, it doesn’t matter, it’s that we do it. It’s a journey, it’s a journey. I guess what my point of this all, but if you fight the journey and you have doubt, you can’t complete it, you don’t go through it the way that it’s meant to be.

“When we try to change people, it may go against what their actual destiny is.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Diane Scabilloni: Right. Well, don’t you think that to get past the doubt, you need to get to your inner self and to quiet the mind. You’re talking about expectations and all of that kind of stuff to look forward to expecting things and to just trust like, okay, I’m going to put this out there and expect positive instead of expecting negative. And just recognize, like you’re saying, you’re either in doubt or fear. So recognize, okay, I’m going to spend, because you could spend a ton of time on fear, there would be 15 people down the street that are ready to help you with that, but you could choose, it’s a choice. Like, okay, I’m going to sit in love for even five minutes a day and just reflect on just being quiet. I find it like, the more I just spend in quiet meditation and just listening to the rain, or listening to the ceiling fan or something, and just being in my body and listening, just letting, it’s surprising, the spirit will come upon you and that love will come if you allow it.

“To get past the doubt, you need to look forward to and expect the positive.” -Diane Scabilloni Click To Tweet

Art Costello: It’s funny because I was thinking about this this morning, I think I function differently because when I start getting active, the first thing I do in the morning when I get out of bed immediately, I mean, the first thing I do is make the bed. I mean, the bed has gotta be made, it’s gotta be tight. Partially, the old Marine in me, but while I’m doing that, I am thinking positive thoughts. I’m building my affirmations, I’m doing the things going through my head, what I’ve got to do today, what’s gotta be done. I’m very active mentally with that kind of stuff. So when I let my mind go, or just kind of relax and not be busy, I find that that’s when I start to wander off of my path, which is interesting. But I function totally differently than most people. I mean, I really am not old in every sense of the word. But you know, I’m invigorated when I do stuff. If I get nervous about something, my nerves start getting, the way I calm myself down is I got to go do something, I got to go keep myself busy and all that. I don’t know where it came from, but it’s certainly a trait that I have and I recognize it.

Diane Scabilloni: Well, you know what? That’s where we’re all different. You’re making a deliberate decision which is different than getting up and just letting the world kind of take you. Getting up, turning on the news and letting your energy just be pulled down and caught up in negativity and stuff like that. You’re making a deliberate choice. You’re thinking positive thoughts. You’re planning your day in a positive way. I mean, I think that that can be prayer too. That is meditation, but it has to be a choice instead of, for me, I think it has to be a choice rather than just kind of floating with the wind because we have to control our real state up here.

Art Costello: Yeah, we do. If we don’t, our real state just gets so overcrowded and pushed to the side. There must be a real state term for it, but I don’t know what it is.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah, it made me think of that WALL-E movie, if you remember that Disney WALL-E, that movie. WALL-E, Disney, they were carrying all that garbage around?

Art Costello: What do you think some of the biggest challenges are for kids that have said that, wow, I guess maybe I’m asking what we can tell parents that are listening in, what they can do to challenge their kids to not have self doubt, and to be introspective and to look inside of themselves. I ended up sending the anxiety.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. I feel like it’s just about having a good conversation with them and just asking them questions,. I feel like it’s kind of one of those things that was okay. Even just throughout the day, I’ve said to my kids different things like, Oh, my gosh, I’m feeling so overwhelmed right now. I got so much going on, or that situation made me feel uncomfortable or angry. Because I feel like if we go first and we’re vulnerable first, then they’re going to be more willing to be open and to share how they’re feeling. I mean, I have two teenage boys and so if I would just go up to them and say like, Hey, how’s it going? What kind of doubts are you having today? They’ll be like, what are you talking about? So it’s challenging to get them to get beyond the, are you doing fine? But I think if I go first and share, then that starts to open the door. Or just to observe and like even say, you know what? It seems like you’re feeling a little unsure of yourself right now. And then they can either open up and say, yes. Or they can say, no, I’m angry. I was like, okay, good. I got an emotion. And then we can keep the dialogue going. And I think books really helped to get that stuff starting, to have a conversation builder.

“It's about having a good conversation with (your kids) and asking them questions… If we go first, and we're vulnerable first, then they're going to be more willing to be open and to share how they're feeling.” -Diane Scabilloni Click To Tweet

Art Costello: Yeah. I have one son, or I have two sons and one daughter. Raising sons is a whole different game than raising a daughter. I mean, it’s just a whole different ball of wax. But the elements are that you want to teach. I mean, it was much harder for me to communicate with my sons. My son’s have very, very strong willed and very opinionated thoughts and stuff. I mean, we raised them that way. We wanted our kids to think for themselves to have your own opinions, and to live with their decisions, and have respect for people and all the things that we want our children to have. And I think that my daughter, even though she was raised the same way, she seemed to want to fit in with everybody. My boys didn’t care. They were great at Peyton oddballs, but my daughter wanted to be in, she wanted to be accepted by her peers and our friends and all that. I think there’s a lot of differences for girls than boys. I think girls are much more critical. I mean, girls can be much more abusive. They can be much more catty, and this is that kind of thing. It’s hard for a girl, young girl, particularly. She doesn’t have strong identifying factors with her doubt. If she knows how to identify her doubts and knows what they are, knows how to manage them, because I think that that’s the key for kids on how they manage their lives. How they manage and navigate through these adolescent years because that seems to be the one thing that really gets tough.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. Yeah, it is. Even just to teach kids about self-talk, even at a young age to say, if you hear like, Oh, man, playing sports or something is, I stink at this and I’m so bad at this. And then just to kinda bring it into reality. Okay, you struck out, but that was one time. Let’s look at the times that you did well and let’s look at the, you’re a really great fielder and just try to help them to not just zone in on the negative piece, but to like look at the things that they’re good at. And yeah, it’s so easy just to get caught up in the negativity and just to teach them to be more confident and say, okay, let’s find the good.

Art Costello: Which leads me into your book. What is it? Rulers Don’t Measure?

Diane Scabilloni: Rulers Don’t Measure, yeah.

Art Costello: I loved it. I want you to be able to tell the audience about the gist of it and how it is. Because I think these two books, one on doubt and one on how we measure up, I think are very, very relatable to parents and children, and they’re cohesive. I mean, they’re really in a way very cohesive, even though there’s separate books.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. Thank you. Again, the book came from the premise of growing up in an environment where I really did not know how to function. Normally, I would compare myself all the time and that’s what the little measuring stick is the character in the story. And he walks around comparing himself. He comes across different situations and experiences and looks at what that particular person is doing and tells himself, I don’t measure up. So that was, I’m like, okay, wait a minute. But then he remembers, when the story starts, before he came to earth, he was given certain gifts and talents that he needed to remember. And to remember the most important thing is that he was very blessed and very loved. So he compared himself and then was like, you know what? This really isn’t very fun. So we had a little reflection time under a tree and said, wait a minute, wait a minute. There is a greater, there’s a bigger picture here. I am blessed, and the people I’m encountering are blessed and maybe I can learn from them and develop pieces of myself to kind of bring out the whole. So yeah, it really was very helpful to me to stop comparing myself because that just, you just don’t get anywhere because you’re always going to find somebody bigger, stronger, smarter, more money, blah, blah, blah.

Art Costello: Well, I was sitting here thinking when you were speaking about measuring up, it’s a great trait for kids to learn. But I tell you what I know of a lot more adults that need to learn, they don’t need to measure up or keep up. I mean, you can fall into a big trap of trying to measure up to what other people think. To me, it falls back on expectations, because when you’re susceptible to the expectations of others and you don’t have yourself as expectations set in stone, that’s how people get controlled. I mean, you literally get control of someone if you could control their expectations. That’s why advertisers are so adamant about controlling your expectations. Why government is, that’s why religion is because they want to control the masses. And when you’re controlled, you’re at the mercy of somebody else, you don’t live your life, and that’s not good.

“You can fall into a big trap of trying to measure up to what other people think. When you're susceptible to the expectations of others, that's how people get controlled.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Diane Scabilloni: No, no, you’re right. I think I’m really grateful that I didn’t grow up in the time when we had Instagram and everything, because what’s being portrayed is not always reality, it’s just a picture at a perfect time. And then that was it, the reality of before and after the picture may not have really been true.

“What's being portrayed (in social media) is not always reality. It's just a picture at a perfect time. The reality of before and after the picture may not have really been true.” -Diane Scabilloni Click To Tweet

Art Costello: Yeah. I just had an interesting conversation with the gentleman and it was really eye opening for me. What he said to me was, you do know social media is run by AI, Artificial Intelligence. And Artificial Intelligence does not have any purpose other than to control how you think, how you look. And in Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok, Pinterest, Twitter, every social media platform, the algorithms are written by artificial intelligence because that’s how they know what to do, but there’s no feeling in it, there’s no anything. So these kids are being led down this path by these algorithms, that’s what we’re losing today. We wonder why we have some of these school shootings and that kind of thing. Well, these kids don’t have a moral compass anymore, it’s gone. I mean, they measure up or don’t measure up according to Instagram or Facebook. They have to have so many likes that they think that they’re like. I read an article the other day, I think it’s reproduced in USA Today, it says that they did a study of seventh grade girls and that if they didn’t have 500 likes, they became depressed. But anything over 500 likes, they felt like they had accomplished something.

Diane Scabilloni: They had a good day, yeah.

Art Costello: Incredible, they’re trying to measure up to these algorithms and not reality. I think it’s dangerous.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. I just wanna get to their little hearts and just make sure that they know that they’re special regardless of what kind of makeup they wear, and what kind of clothes they’re wearing and all of that, that we all have our own special gifts and talents.

Art Costello: Yeah. What do you think triggers self doubt in a child? Have you tried to identify any of the factors?

Diane Scabilloni: Well, it’s probably fear, I would think. Or just messages that you get. I mean, they talk about like, in your first seven years of your life, you are really just a sponge and you just absorb, absorb, absorb everything you hear and see, and then that becomes how you, it’s like that’s your internal computer of how life is. I feel like we spend the rest of our lives trying to debug ourselves.

Art Costello: It’s four years, I think it’s the first four years.

Diane Scabilloni: Is it really just the first four? Wow.

Art Costello: The first four is so instrumental.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. I think it’s about a conversation and just helping them to recognize what internal thoughts they’re saying to themselves. I can remember with my kids, they mutter something to themselves, and then you’re like, Oh, and they’ll be like, Oh, I” sucker, or I’m really bad. And it’s like, okay, wait a minute. Just to help them to, when you hear yourself say that, recognize that that’s not the truth. Maybe it’s something you’d like to improve about yourself, but who you are is not bad, that’s not who you are.

Art Costello: Well, I think that that’s why it’s important. One of the things that we do is we try to teach our children that everything that happens in their life is meant to teach them, to make us better.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah.

Art Costello: That’s what I used as my crutch through almost from the time I was little, I just viewed everything as a learning experience. And the more experience I had, the better off I was going to be. I just went out and had lots of experiences. Some of them would be good, but I just did. If there’s anything that I do, it’s live. I’ve done everything in my life that I’ve ever wanted to do because I don’t hold back, I just go do it. I don’t know, probably five or six really decent professions in my life. I played pro baseball, I was in the entertainment industry. I mean, I just go do it. If you don’t, you’ll never know if that’s what you were supposed to be doing. I keep saying this to people, I believe in the possibility of everything, and then everything becomes possible. You don’t know if you don’t try. If you let fear run you, you’re never going to go out and try. You’re just going to live, well, you’re not going to live, you’re just going to exist. You’re just going to exist.

“You won't know if you don't try. And if you let fear run you, you're never going to go out and try.” -Art Costello Click To Tweet

Diane Scabilloni: Well, and it takes courage. Like what we’re talking about, it’s really easy to just stay in fear. Like you said, we’re trying to be brainwashed by society even to stay in fear. So it definitely takes courage to try something new and to follow your internal guidance, but it’s so worth it. Because the last thing that I would want to do is to leave this earth and then kind of get the playbook and in heaven like, well, here’s what you could have done. Like this vast, amazing life and it’s like, okay, this is what you chose to do because you’re scared. Like, I don’t want to do that.

Art Costello: I’m not going to have to worry about it. I mean, they’re not good at getting the tip of their pencil dark.

Diane Scabilloni: So that’s really good, you just know that you just went for it. I think sometimes people get afraid of making mistakes but, so what? I mean, so what? You don’t learn unless you make mistakes.

Art Costello: The thing that I learned so long ago was that there’s only two people that I answer to, God and myself. And as long as I keep us both happy, I’m okay. I try not to do anything that would hurt anybody’s feelings. I think that if you have certain core expectations that you have for yourself, I talk about integrity, compassion and love, those are my three core expectations in my life that guide everything I do. I do it with integrity. I treat everybody with integrity. I treat everybody with compassion, and I treat everybody with love, and I treat myself with compassion and love, and I’m forgiven. I am forgiven for the mistakes that I made, but they teach me, they teach me not to make the same mistake over.

Diane Scabilloni: Right. Exactly, exactly.

Art Costello: What we need to do is teach children at an earlier age about measuring up, about not having self doubt, about having positive expectations in their lives, and then we could change the world.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. For sure.

Art Costello: We just solve the world’s problems.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah. And just didn’t know that they have special gifts and talents, and just to get rid of the doubt and to explore. Yeah, I agree.

Art Costello: Honestly, I think that that’s what God wants to meet with everyone of us, to be happy. He doesn’t want us to not be happy. Isn’t a gust of good, grace, love, kindness and all that. He wouldn’t ever want us to hurt in any way, but he also gave us free will so we can decide for ourselves what we want and what we don’t. Because that’s my big lesson for today.

Diane Scabilloni: I hear ya. No, that’s true.

Art Costello: But it is very true. It just can make a huge difference in people’s lives. They just realize they don’t have to live to somebody else’s expectations and measure up or down to someone else. That self doubt just really is what destroys you from being who you’re meant to be. I think that we’re on the right path. I think we’re good. We’re getting on our time schedule so I wanted to give you the opportunity to tell us, give us some wisdom that you would like to share, and then tell us where everybody can make contact with you. And for the people who don’t know, everything is always in my show notes. Everything that Diane and I have talked about, it will be in the show notes, and all of her links and everything will be in there. I don’t forget to say that.

Diane Scabilloni: Yeah, no, that’s great. I appreciate the opportunity to be here. I feel like having these types of conversations with our kids and with ourselves, taking some quiet time and just eliminating our own doubts and our own fears will help to encourage our kids, for them to take some chances and to just let them know that they are loved and special. If anybody wants to get a hold of me, I have a website, it’s my name, dianescabilloni.com, reach out. I’m on Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram. So yeah, happy to connect.

Art Costello: I’m going to encourage everybody to go out and get Diane’s books for their kids. And regardless of age, go get the books and really support her on what she’s doing. She’s really giving really necessary beneficial knowledge to our children and it’s so needed today. I want to thank you for being on and to the audience. Connect with Diane, go ahead and get her books. We’ll be fine, we will work through all these things and we will continue to have fun and enjoy all those good things. I really enjoyed talking to you and I’d love to have you back, we’ll do this again.

Diane Scabilloni: Awesome.

Art Costello: We’ll have fun, and with that being said, I’m going to let Heather White take us out of here today. To the audience, thank you for listening. Again, support Diane and we will see you next week.

  

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